Servant Leadership

Leadership Without Humiliation

A few days ago, I wrote about the familiar idea that "people don't leave companies—they leave managers." The thought stayed with me, because I have experienced firsthand how profoundly a manager can affect not only your work, but also your sense of dignity and the people you are responsible for.

Back in 2011–2012, I worked under a manager whose leadership style was difficult to tolerate. He would override my decisions, directly shout at members of my team, micromanage them, and belittle their knowledge and skills—particularly when I was away or on a break.

I escalated the situation to the SVP and the HR team. I fought it for a season, but eventually, I made the decision to leave what was otherwise a large and established software company. I could not work under that kind of leadership.

Accountability Is Necessary. Humiliation Is Not.

Recently, I came across a few Instagram reels featuring an Indian F&B entrepreneur visiting restaurants he owns, accompanied by a camera crew and members of his operations leadership team.

The idea behind the visits seemed reasonable: surprise inspections, checking standards, identifying problems, and holding teams accountable. Any business needs systems of accountability, and leaders absolutely should know what is happening on the ground.

But the way it was being done was deeply uncomfortable.

The owner would walk into his own establishments and publicly question and reprimand employees:

"This is NO GOOD."

"What is this, Prasad?"

"Sunitha, this is unacceptable."

"Complete mess. Who are you? Manager, what are you wearing?"

All of this was being filmed. Employees were identified by name. Their faces were visible. Their mistakes and the way they were being spoken to were turned into public content.

Perhaps it makes for compelling social media.

But what happens to the person on the receiving end?

Their family may watch that video. Their friends may see it. Their colleagues may see it. Thousands of strangers may see them being publicly humiliated at work.

And these are people simply trying to earn a living.

The emotional impact of being publicly belittled—regardless of one's salary—is not something that should be dismissed as merely "tough management."

I've Seen This Without the Cameras Too

Unfortunately, this isn't limited to restaurants or social media.

I have seen similar leadership behaviour in corporate environments as well. The cameras may not be there, and the humiliation may not become public content, but the damage can still be very real.

There is a place for feedback.

There is a place for accountability.

There is a place for difficult conversations.

But there is also a right way to do them.

If someone has made a mistake, correct the mistake. If standards aren't being met, address them. If someone needs to improve, tell them clearly what needs to change.

But do it in a way that preserves their dignity.

Publicly humiliating someone rarely makes them a better employee. More often, it creates fear, resentment, embarrassment and disengagement.

The Leader's Responsibility

This is where I believe servant leadership offers a very different perspective.

The primary responsibility of a leader is not simply to command people. It is to serve, empower and uplift them.

A good leader should want to see their people become better than they were yesterday—to develop their abilities, grow in confidence, take ownership and eventually reach their full potential.

That doesn't mean lowering standards.

In fact, servant leadership can demand very high standards.

The difference is in how those standards are pursued.

A leader operating in a command-and-control mindset often focuses on authority: I am the boss. You will do what I say.

A servant leader focuses on responsibility: I am responsible for helping this team succeed.

One approach asks, "Why did you fail?"

The other asks, "What happened, and how can we make sure this doesn't happen again?"

One seeks submission.

The other seeks growth.

People Are Not a Business Expense

It's easy, especially as leaders, to become consumed by targets, revenue, efficiency, growth and the bottom line.

But behind every target is a person.

Behind every employee number is someone's son or daughter, husband or wife, father or mother. Someone with their own struggles, ambitions, fears and hopes.

That doesn't mean leaders should avoid difficult conversations.

It means we should remember who is standing in front of us when we have them.

A person's dignity should never become collateral damage in the pursuit of performance.

Leaders, remember this:

The growth and well-being of your people matter more than your personal brand, your ego, your growth—or even your bottom line.

Because ultimately, leadership isn't about how many people you can control.

It's about how many people you can help rise.